This Will Destroy Your Childhood Memories

What is “The Aristocrats”?

The Aristocrats (also known as The Debonaires or The Sophisticates in some tellings) is an exceptionally transgressive dirty joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. Steven Wright has likened it to a secret handshake among comedians, and it is seen as something of a game in which those who tell it try to top each other in terms of shock value. It is rarely told the same way twice, often improvised, and was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. It is thought of as a badge of honor among expert comedians and is notoriously hard to perform successfully. (Wikipedia)

What is the format of “The Aristocrats” joke?

This joke almost always has these elements—alternative versions may change this form, but such versions tend to assume that the audience is already familiar with the joke:

1. The setup: The joke always begins with a family act going in to see a talent agent.

  • Those who meet the agent can include the whole family, or just one family member (usually the father).
  • The agent asks (sometimes after saying that he is not interested, and a plea from the father) what they do.
  • If the whole family is present, the act may be performed for the agent, rather than described.
  • There is also the possibility of a neutral observer telling the tale of seeing the performance to the talent agent.

2. The act: It is described in as much detail as the teller prefers.

  • While most tellings follow one of a few basic forms, the description of the act is meant to be an ad lib.
  • Traditionally, the description is crude, tasteless, and ribald. The goal is to cross social boundaries, and acts such as incest, rape, pedophilia, coprophilia, bestiality, and murder are common themes.

3. The punch line: The shocked (or intrigued) agent asks what the act is called, and the proud answer (sometimes delivered with a flourish) is “The Aristocrats!”

  • The punchline may be modified in some variants, but generally such variants are told only in a context where the original joke is known.
  • Because the sense of what an aristocrat is has faded in many countries, the final line may simply be seen as the end of a rather bawdy joke rather than a punchline. In some regions the name of the act is “The Sophisticates” or “The Debonaires”.


I watched the documentary The Aristocrats last year. It was good. But that’s not what I want to show you. I want to show you Bob Saget tells a disgusting Aristocrats joke. Many of us remember Bob Saget as the caring, loving dad on the sitcom Full House, which we all grew up watching. Now say goodbye to your cherished memory of Danny Tanner:

Watch the whole clip. I found it to be really tasteless, dirty, sick, disgusting, and offensive. Which means only one thing: GO BOB!


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